LITTER BLASTER  - The Reactions

from Percy Sandhill from Pensby.
What is this country coming to, I fought hard during the war for the liberation of people like you from your company. I fought hard to keep a country of order and of values. You are part of the stinky Mob that is turning Britain into a cesspool. There is a group of volunteers in my area that go out every Saturday Morning to clear up the shite left over from the night before by a bunch of yobbos and thickos who only live to break bottles and strew crisp packets, bottle tops, chewing gum wrappers and dogshit all over the suburbs. Now you have designed to product to aid them, a product designged for the iditoic motorists who chuck fag ends out at traffic lights. If I was a nazi and you were a prisoner of war I would lock you up and throw away the key.
You're one of those guys that writes to the free press every week on a different topic, but each letter basically saying that you think life is shite. I tell you, life isn't shite, but it is when you haven't got a handy gadget on standby reading to help out with life's little inconveniences, the blaster grinds litter unrecognisable. You won't have to be cleaning up squat, as the litter is reduced to the size of atoms. So get a life and watch a movie on Channel 5 rather than bugging us with your petty enquiries!

From Mrs Greenhill, Ketterminster.
I enjoy long car journeys with my family to beauty spots like Lands End & John O Groats. As you can imagine on these long car journeys with stops every half hour to service stations to pick up armfuls of junk food, the car slowly fills with cack to the point where you can't take it any more. Now I can scratch under the seats and blast it all out into the country I call Britain. I'm glad you've found a way to make it somebody else's job to clean up the shite that one accumulates. However I found a leaking pen on my white seat covers, so I stucked the fucker into my litter blaster and tried to shoot it. Unfortunately it was set to "grind'n churn" and it fucked up the insides. My Litter Blaster was in many different pieces all over the car. What the ehll am I gonna do.
Tsk, Tsk, wrong settings. And also tsk, tsk the language, oh my broken ears. The Blaster is not meant for objects the size of pens. Try that and it's gonna go haywire. Get something bigger like the Transshitinator which can grind something the size of a chocalate pudding into nothing to be released only as particles into the air.

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