Ms Amanda Hugsley from Huddersfield writes.
I want my money back! I am not going to take no for
an answer. I installed these convenient curtains thinking I could sit on
my ass all night watching TV without even having to get up to close the
curtains.
It was a mid autumn night, 6.30 came ,it got dark,
the curtains auto-closed, wowee!
But what I hadn't bargained on were the neighbour's
security lights, I was sat staring into Emmerdale half an hour later, and
the curtains flungback and then they snapped shut again. This went on all
night, every time the lights came on, they flung open, every time they
went back off they snapped shut. At around 11pm I was incensed, the curtains
were open and some drunk louts walking back from the pub looked in and
saw my widescreen, then as the soccer-pitch floodlights that my neighbour
calls security lights went out. The Curtains went back at such a force
that they knocked the plant off the window sill. I have a white carpet.
The next day I ripped them down.
I'm Sorry, Ms Hugsley, but we cannot refund you, there
is a small tear in the curtains and this voids the warrantly.
Not only this the motor seems to have shorted out.
Mr Jack Lenning from Walsall
OK, That's it my solicitor will be onto you the very
next day.
Your curtains are an excellent invention, yet another
comfort for mankind in this space age of an era.
My ass can burrow further and further down into the
settee as the curtains autoshut every night.
Well all is well except for one thing, THEY REACT
TO THE LIGHT SWITCH.
Amazingly instead of staying in one night I went to
the cinema, I called a babysitter for the grandkids.
However the grandkids played with the light switch.
They held it halfway between off and on so that the bulb flickered and
then blew. Every time the light is switched on, the curtain opens, imagine
my horror when I got back in to find
the curtains were on FIRE! It sems that when my grandchildren
held the switch halfway down, and the bulb was alternating light and dark,
the curtain flew from one end of the rail to the other so fast that there
were sparks
coming from the rail, and then the motor seemed to
explode in a shower of sparks causing the fabric to catch light.
Can't you at least use fireproof fabric, there was
hardly any water in the house, It was lucky my bladder felt like it was
about to explode. So I used it to put out the curtains. The Box I am sending
you in the expectation of a refund may be in ashes, but if you do not comply
I will sue you in the highest court of the land.
Oh Dear, dear what a sorry tale. It seems you must have
had the sensor to detect light and dark facing inward somehow. There is
also a sensitivity switch on the left side of the curtains to set the sensitivity
to fluctuating light levels. However this has limits, If you like next
to a soccer pitch or a recreation centre these curtains will be useless.
We will only exchange your curtain remains for a new
set.
Mr Boris Yagga from Torquay.
I'd like to talk about the British weather, about
how cloudy it is, how it always rains and sometimes we get glorious sunshine.
WHY THE HELL THEN DID YOU DID YOU DESIGN THE CURTAINS SO THAT THEY'LL BE
ACTIVATED BY GLOOMY WEATHER. One December Afternoon my curtains were opening
and closing every time the sun came out from behind the climb. Your Product
is a croc of shit, doesn't it know the difference between night and day?
You don't seem to know the difference between night and
day either, Mr Yagga, as You don't seem to be very bright, haven't you
noticed the sensitivity switch?
Mr Jack Regal from Wrexham.
About the sensitivity switch, my toddler got the switch
in his mouth and spent the afternoon turning it, he left it on the highest
setting. I later my switched my TV on only to hear a whirring sound, I
realised it was the curtains behind me, every time the picture changed
on the TV, the curtains flew down their rail like greased lightning, I
was about to turn the TV off when I heard a snapping, ad then vaguely saw
out the corner of my eye a curtain flying across the room at what seemed
like 60 MPH. I ran across the room, saw a shower of sparks ,the smell of
burnt curtain, and a mangled curtain rod. Your BS Standards stand for Bullshit!
Oh dear, all we can say is don't let your kids play with
sensitive objects. The sensitivity knob can be locked in place, but it
will unlock if it's bashed. I'm sorry for the carnage that was your living
room but you can be rest assured that the product works satisfactorally
in the majority of cases.
Mr Penny Smith from Llangollen
I was pleased with my auto curtains until I received
a bill from Manweb.
Which was for in excess of £170 and that's just
for a month. I assume that the curtains are power hungry.
Seems a bit crap ,and also a bit dangerous.
Yes leaving the curtains in standby has been equated
to constantly boiling a kettle for a month.
One solution is to switch them off, but then the curtains
won't auto shut or spring open.
Finaly if you want to run them without a chunky bill,
either build your own wind turbines or stick a car battery down on the
carpet, be sure to put newspaper under it though, because it can be oily!